In December 2023, I started noticing a change in energy around me. After three weeks of silence, I realized that part of the change is a better understanding of how, when, and why people communicate.
My preference is to remain in the present moment. When I repeat stories, it keeps me in the past. It is exhausting to keep recounting the same stories.
Another problem with repeating your stories is that it keeps the story's energy and what happened alive. You may want to keep it alive if it is a beautiful memory. What about negative memories — do you want to keep reliving them?
If you can fully let go, release, and heal from your negative experiences, there will not be an urge or need to continue to talk about them. Be aware of the difference between telling your story so you can release and heal from it versus repeating it to justify your thoughts, feelings, and actions about it.
Listening to a negative story affects you energetically. Recently, I was at the beach reading. A man approached the couple near me and started telling a long, detailed story about all the trials and tribulations he had been having with his adult son. Unintentionally, I could hear everything despite not attempting to listen. Rather than move, I realized this would be an excellent opportunity to check my energy as he continued his sad tale. I could perceive and experience the dark energy swirling around. The heaviness of his words permeated everything. He did not seem to be seeking help. I had sympathy for his friends, who were listening and nodding their heads. What was the point of his story beyond dumping on his friends? It changed nothing with his son; he didn't walk away with new ideas on how to deal with him. Following his conversation, I experienced a profound sense of exhaustion.
I understand that sometimes, we experience a need to vent. It is best to ask the person if it is okay to share something bothering you. Make it clear what you want and need. Are you hoping for advice?
Is it simply a desire to be seen, heard, and understood? Can they share a similar experience that might give you an idea about how to handle things in the future?
If you are not up to having a conversation, be clear and compassionate. "I'm sorry. I cannot help you with that issue right now." You can suggest another time to talk. Or, if it is not a discussion you want to have later, permit yourself to say "No."
Understanding that you can say "no" allows you to step back and evaluate how and with whom you share your energy. It could be a temporary 'no' — "I don't want to talk about that right now." Or, maybe you never want to have a particular conversation — "I'm sorry, I am not available to discuss that with you."
It is up to us to determine which conversations and people fill you up rather than drain you. My recent experience of being silent has helped me listen more closely to the wisdom of my Spirit Guides. I am very grateful to be reminded that we all have a choice to participate in conversations with others. I will be saying 'no' more often in my personal life.
What are your thoughts about managing draining people and situations?
Peace & Blessings,