Reduce Your Stress and Anxiety by Practicing Non-Attachment

Many are familiar with the idea of non-attachment, a concept for living your life without being emotionally attached to people, places, things, situations, or outcomes in your life. Like many of my life lessons, I understood it intellectually way before I emotionally embraced it. I loved the concept, but could not quite figure out how to make my non-attachment permanent.

There was not one magical day where I had an ‘aha’ moment, and my life changed instantaneously. Instead, it was a continuous process of reminding myself to not be attached to any outcomes. I would do my best, but many times would fall back into wanting to be in charge.  Over time, with lots of practice, my non-attachment is now automatic. This has been true for many of my spiritual lessons. Once I can emotionally fully grasp it, the lesson is learned.

You may have heard of non-attachment as a Buddhist tradition.  It is about letting go of perceived suffering that is created when we cling to certain outcomes, people, places, or expectations about what we think should happen.

If you believe your happiness and well-being depends on certain outcomes, it creates stress when you don’t meet your goals. Expectations can cause us to feel disappointed, stressed and unworthy if we fall short. This can have an effect on you, both emotionally and physically. Feelings of fear about losing something and getting stuck in a worry loop are common consequences of being attached to your life going a certain way.

By letting go of control, and instead going with the flow, it is much easier to remain in the present moment.  Letting go of your expectations and living a more fluid authentic life increases your peace and resilience.  Not focusing on the past or worrying about the future lessens anxiety.

Non-Attachment Tips

• Learn to accept the reality of what is currently happening.

• Let go of your expectations and learn to embrace unexpected outcomes.

• Acknowledge your resilience each time you bounce back easily.

• Become aware of which areas you are attached to certain outcomes: People? Places? Things? Activities?

• What patterns show up in your life when you don’t get the outcome you desire—Anger? Worry? Disappointment? Victimhood?

• If you catch yourself attached to a certain expectation, observe those thoughts and feelings, and then let them go.

• Realize and accept change and uncertainty is inevitable.

• Focus on gratitude, appreciating what you do have, not on what is missing.

• Try to stay neutral.

• Take baby steps; build upon each success.

• Focus on the journey, not the outcome.

• Be more compassionate with yourself and others.

• Find a meditation practice that works for you.

• Understand that non-attachment is not indifference; it allows you to love and care without being consumed.

• Be patient with yourself. Don’t let setbacks affect you negatively.

• Find a healthy balance.

  
  

When you are able to stay non-attached, you are reminded there are other opportunities and possibilities. Although you may experience a bit of disappointment, you are able to move on, remaining open for what life brings you.  By practicing these principles, you will notice less anxiety and stress and more inner peace to live a loving authentic life.

I recently have had some amazing opportunities show up. Before becoming non-attached, I would have quickly become anxious about my ability to take advantage of these opportunities. Instead, I became genuinely excited to see where my actions would take me.

Last week I was walking my dog. Completely unexpectedly, my Spirit Guides gave me an idea for a new book. I immediately realized it was a great idea. Ironically, I was talking with an agent in a few hours. My old self would have felt I was not ready to present the book idea to the agent. After all, they usually want to see a 25-page book proposal.  This time I told myself I would sit with the idea and decide in the moment if I should mention it to the agent.

I took a big leap of faith and mentioned it. They LOVED it!  Recognizing how timely the book would be, they expressed wanting to get the book out as soon as possible.  Wow!  I was amazed how quickly everything was falling into place.

Actually, I have had an extraordinary amount of  “good things happening” recently. Back in the beginning of January, my twin flame’s Soul Body came when I was experiencing a sound healing and activated something in me.  The next day his Soul Body showed up at my house. I am clear that since he is in a different relationship this lifetime, his soul has chosen to help me heal the world on a soul level. It is like we are working together—just not physically. I think whatever he activated at the sound healing has been opening Divine doors for me.

Shortly after my twin flame appeared, an opportunity to be interviewed by a large spiritual group opened up. They have interviewed many world-renown spiritual healers and leaders, and I feel honored to be included. I am not sure when I will be interviewed.

Both of these opportunities are amazing! Happy to be able to say I am not attached to the outcome of either one of them. Would I be disappointed if I don’t have the interview, or the new book is not picked up by a publisher? Yes, but the difference is that my disappointment would be a brief experience for me; not a stressful devastation. I fully surrendered to the Spirit world years ago.  I completely trust that what is supposed to happen in my life will appear. I no longer have to control it or “make it happen”—I know what is meant for me will arrive and thrive.

On a more practical note, writing another book will take a lot of my time. When I wrote WISDOM KEEPER, I kept a 4 am - 4 pm schedule. Not sure yet what my writing schedule will be, but I am prepared that it will affect the number of healings I can do each month.

My plan is to still be able to do some healing work each month. Since I will have much less time to do healings, I expect the available slots each month to fill up quickly. Anyone who has purchased a three or six session healing package will have priority for scheduling. 

When you contact me, please give me a brief explanation about why you want a healing. If you are in crisis, I will do my best to find a way to accommodate you as quickly as possible. 

Sorry for any inconvenience. If it is any consolation, part of my new book will be teaching you how to stay calm and grounded, no matter what is happening.

I would love to hear about your experiences with non-attachment.

One more thing—last night, I received a clear message from my Spirit Guides that it is time to buy extra water and food. I am not talking about a lot; just enough water and food to last you a few weeks in case you lose power. I suggest getting food that does not need to be cooked. This is not about extreme preparedness, but rather about being practical and ready for potential short-term situations. When I received this message, I asked for clarity. My Spirit Guides said something could happen fairly soon that will knock out power for many people.

Peace & Blessings,

Chloe

Special thanks to Pete Linforth from Pixabay for the beautiful image.

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What Intentions Have You Set for 2025?

Most people set intentions at the beginning of the year to improve their lives physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. Unfortunately, many people never implement their intentions. Changing your life takes time, effort, and dedication.

This past year, I had several lessons about honoring my Divine authentic truth. Through these challenges, I recognized that even though I have made lots of progress; I was still bumping up against agreeing to do things I did not want to do or were not for my highest good. Each time I would do something that was not in my best interest, I would feel physically ill or even create something like a bad fall to get my attention. I denied my authentic self the freedom of saying ‘no’ to things I intuitively knew were not good for me.

It is a common struggle for people to always honor their authentic selves. It can be scary to reveal your true self to others. I knew I was different for most of my life and would act accordingly. However, when I was younger, my inner critic would speak up and question why I was not like everyone else. Sometimes, I would give in to my inner critic and compromise my authentic self to fit in with other people’s views.

After I processed the fear of letting the world know about the deepest parts of my authentic spiritual life with the revelations I shared in my teaching memoir, I have not looked back. Since the release of the book, I have felt entirely transparent. It feels fantastic not to worry about what others think of me.

Last night, I found a box that I had not unpacked. Inside was a sweet list made by my son when he was 28-years-old, sharing what he loved about me. I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I never knew what he would remember or even choose for himself as an adult.

When I read his list, tears streamed down my face. His recognition and appreciation of so many of my authentic traits surprised me. I thought, “Wow. I had a much bigger impact on him than I thought.” Seeing all the important things to him as a child and an adult filled me with much love and gratitude.

I encourage you to make a vow to be more authentic and share your beautiful truth with the world.

My Son’s List of What He Loves About Me

• I love your outlook on life.

• I would love it if we could travel out of the country soon.

• You remind me of lavender and sage.

• If you want to, you can easily start over again at the destination of your choice.

• I love hearing about your spiritual journeys.

• Nobody sees things from a unique perspective like you do.

• You inspire me to enjoy the smaller things in life.

• I love having fun and spending time with you.

• I am in awe of your overcoming and perceiving attitude in life.

• You are great at meeting and striking up conversations with new people ALL the time.

• I love hearing about your next adventure or project.

• It makes my heart sing when you call me “your son that chose you.”

• Your taste and style of music is cool.

• You have the prettiest eyes!

• I like your strong mindset and personality.

• One of my favorite memories is the time we went to Mexico on the sleeper train.

• You’ve taught me the gift of fun and how to overcome shyness.

• You look and live a life so much younger than your age.

• I am happy I inherited your outgoing personality and your winning smile.

• It is so fun to go on adventures with you.

• I love planning staycation days with you.

• One of my favorite things is the sound of your voice when you are happy and enjoying life.

• You always find the humor and laughter in life.

• I treasure your encouragement to try new things and follow my dreams.

• I would feel lost without your optimism.

• Your ability to see a bigger, optimistic picture always amazes me.

• Thanks for sharing your guidance with me.

• You definitely win the “Coolest Mom of the Year” award.

• I wish I had known you when you were my age.

• I love how you are in tune with the messages of the Universe.

• I hope to be as spiritually sound as you are someday.

• “Spiritual” is the word I’d use to describe you if I could only use one word.

  
  

Wow! To be seen, heard, and understood by this amazing being I gave birth to 38 years ago is such a gift and a wonderful reminder to stay true to my authentic self.

It is a special gift to experience how people truly see you. When I read over my son's words, I was filled and surrounded with so much love. I encourage you to try this out with a friend or family member. You can both share what you love about each other. It would also make a great birthday gift. You don't have to make your list as long as my son's list -- even just sharing a few thoughts about what you think makes the person unique and special would be appreciated.

Like most families, our relationship has had its share of challenging ups and downs. Thank goodness my son always eventually got grounded and centered and showed up as the sweet and caring son who had waited until I was ready to have him come to Earth to be my son.

I know many people are estranged from their children. I want you to know there is always the possibility of reconcilation and connection. Be patient and shine the light.

The United States is facing a huge change on January 20, 2025. Hopefully, most of you used the time after the U.S. election to de-stress and find your balance. For those not happy with the election results, to navigate these next four years, we must remain present and mindful of everything. We may need more discretion on who sees our true selves.

May you enjoy the last few days of freedom as we know it before the new U.S. President takes office. I remind you that no matter how dark things get, the Light will ultimately prevail.

Please let me know if you would like help to adjust to the new U.S. administration or need an intuitive shamanic energy healing or a life coach session. I am here for you.

Peace & Blessings,

Chloe

Thanks to Gerd Altmann on Pixabay for the image

Get Better Results When You Take An Active Role in Your Healing Process

Many people who seek alternative healing approach it with the attitude that it is the "healer's" responsibility to heal them — they think all they have to do is show up and let the healer do all the work. Some healers can have a profound effect on your health. However, the healing will probably not last if you return home and resort to your old patterns. After a healer clears and balances your energy, it is essential to create new ways of living your life so you don't continue to develop health problems.

I tell my clients they will probably need to do homework to assist them with the changes they want. The homework may be affirmations to read every day, sacred music to listen to daily, journaling, using essential oils, incense, and crystals. Committing to taking action that will strengthen your healing and well-being is vital.

It is clear to me when clients are not doing their homework. On their subsequent visits they frequently show up agitated and triggered, anxious to explain why their life isn't working. The clients who faithfully do their homework usually show up centered in their hearts, ready and willing to receive and participate in their healing. Their lives continue to improve.

Unrealistic Healing Expectations

Some healing clients think that one session can remove a lifetime of problems. While it is true that one can experience an instantaneous healing miracle, most often, it takes several healing sessions..

When my doctor found a tumor right before the 4th exploratory surgery for endometriosis, he was the one who announced it was a miracle when he opened me up, and the tumor was gone. He was not aware that when he had me sign extra forms to permit him to remove the tumor, right before I was rolled into the surgical room, I spontaneously said to myself, "I am done." I had been struggling with endometriosis since I had an abortion in my '20s. Although this seemed like an instantaneous miracle, I had been processing this trauma for years. In that moment of "I Am Done," all the trauma was released, the tumor disappeared, and I never had another problem with endometriosis.

Clearly, having the multiple sclerosis removed from my mind and body was a huge miracle, especially since there is no Western medicine cure for it. However, it took 14 years of personal work and trying numerous alternative healing modalities. Even then, it still took six sessions of working with a shaman to finally completely remove it. Was I upset because it took so long? No! It was such a debilitating disease that I just wanted it gone, no matter how long or how much money it would take to accomplish.

The bottom line is that miracles happen in different ways and at various times. It is ultimately about trusting the process.

Dealing with some current health issues

If you have read my book, you know I like to teach by example. Recently, I have experienced some health challenges. I will walk you through what I have done to understand the lessons this is bringing me so I can heal and not bring it back into my life again.

In a recent blog, I shared that my Spirit Guides directed me to have hip replacement surgery no later than this fall. Although I was having some pain in my hip, it was manageable—having surgery was not on my radar. However, it was such a strong, clear, specific, and unexpected message that I knew I needed to honor it. I felt some of my healing clients were surprised I decided to have the surgery and were confused as to why I did not personally "heal" the hip problem. 

Health challenges bring life lessons. Identifying and dealing with these lessons is essential to the healing process. Although I will always first try alternative healing, I remain open to Western medicine if it seems that is the best option.  Did I want to have hip surgery? No! But, the Spirit Guide messages were so adamant; they even continued to give me proof that what they were predicting was accurate. 

A few months later, I saw in the news that the Dali Lama had knee replacement surgery. He is one of the most spiritual beings on the planet and has the resources to perform and receive all types of healing.  I don't believe the fact that he chose to have surgery on his knee affected his image as a highly spiritual being. 

I healed well after the hip replacement surgery. However, after 6 months, I recently started having pain if I slept on that side. Then, a few weeks later, I started having sharp pain in the groin area on my right side. The X-rays after the surgery showed my right hip was fine. I felt the best thing I could do was to see an orthopedic specialist and have some new X-rays. Nothing significant showed up, but I have had some cartilage deterioration on the right hip. The doctor suggested a month of physical therapy, 

After a week of no visible improvement with the physical therapy, I put on my "healer" hat.

• I  came home and journaled to see what was underneath my current health challenge.

• I was surprised the lesson was about me pulling this in so that I have an excuse to slow down and not work so much.  I have had this lesson before and have made progress, but clearly there are still issues that I have to resolve.

• This is how healing works. As you heal, you continue peeling off the layers that you are ready to discard. I have already let go of much of my "need to work energy," and Spirit is asking me to let go of more.

• Once I was clear of the lesson, I made a new affirmation list. I read the affirmations several times each day.

• I am listening to more sacred healing music.

• I am meditating and journaling more often.

• I am taking more responsibility for the physical therapy work, using my intuitive healing abilities to let me know if there is other work I need to be doing for this problem.

• I realized last night that I need to get myself on my healing table and give myself a session.

I wrote new affirmations based on my realization of the real lesson for this health challenge.  I am sharing my list to give you an idea of how to write affirmations for a specific issue. This lesson is about honoring what I want to do and not feeling guilty or pushing myself to do things I don't desire. In essence,  I have to get better at saying "no" if I want these health challenges to go away. 

New Affirmations for Chloe — Friday, Dec. 6, 2024

🙏🏻 It is okay to just "be" 

🙏🏻 Self-care is not a selfish act.

🙏🏻 When I feel off, it is usually a message from Spirit to slow down, take time for myself, and figure out what I truly need.

🙏🏻 Taking breaks is healthy.

🙏🏻 I  don't need to make my body unwell to give myself permission to take breaks from working.

🙏🏻 I don't need to make my body unwell to give myself permission not to work.

🙏🏻 I  am enough, even when I don't accomplish anything.

My ultimate goal is to teach people how to heal themselves. We all have an innate sense and ability to heal.  

Please let me know if you are interested in an online course on how to heal yourself. I received a nudge from my Spirit Guides that I should create one.  

Peace, Love, and Light,

Chloe