Many are familiar with the idea of non-attachment, a concept for living your life without being emotionally attached to people, places, things, situations, or outcomes in your life. Like many of my life lessons, I understood it intellectually way before I emotionally embraced it. I loved the concept, but could not quite figure out how to make my non-attachment permanent.
There was not one magical day where I had an ‘aha’ moment, and my life changed instantaneously. Instead, it was a continuous process of reminding myself to not be attached to any outcomes. I would do my best, but many times would fall back into wanting to be in charge. Over time, with lots of practice, my non-attachment is now automatic. This has been true for many of my spiritual lessons. Once I can emotionally fully grasp it, the lesson is learned.
You may have heard of non-attachment as a Buddhist tradition. It is about letting go of perceived suffering that is created when we cling to certain outcomes, people, places, or expectations about what we think should happen.
If you believe your happiness and well-being depends on certain outcomes, it creates stress when you don’t meet your goals. Expectations can cause us to feel disappointed, stressed and unworthy if we fall short. This can have an effect on you, both emotionally and physically. Feelings of fear about losing something and getting stuck in a worry loop are common consequences of being attached to your life going a certain way.
By letting go of control, and instead going with the flow, it is much easier to remain in the present moment. Letting go of your expectations and living a more fluid authentic life increases your peace and resilience. Not focusing on the past or worrying about the future lessens anxiety.
Non-Attachment Tips
Learn to accept the reality of what is currently happening.
Let go of your expectations and learn to embrace unexpected outcomes.
Acknowledge your resilience each time you bounce back easily.
Become aware of which areas you are attached to certain outcomes: People? Places? Things? Activities?
What patterns show up in your life when you don’t get the outcome you desire—Anger? Worry? Disappointment? Victimhood?
If you catch yourself attached to a certain expectation, observe those thoughts and feelings, and then let them go.
Realize and accept change and uncertainty is inevitable.
Focus on gratitude, appreciating what you do have, not on what is missing.
Try to stay neutral.
Take baby steps; build upon each success.
Focus on the journey, not the outcome.
Be more compassionate with yourself and others.
Find a meditation practice that works for you.
Understand that non-attachment is not indifference; it allows you to love and care without being consumed.
Be patient with yourself. Don’t let setbacks affect you negatively.
Find a healthy balance.
When you are able to stay non-attached, you are reminded there are other opportunities and possibilities. Although you may experience a bit of disappointment, you are able to move on, remaining open for what life brings you. By practicing these principles, you will notice less anxiety and stress and more inner peace to live a loving authentic life.
I recently have had some amazing opportunities show up. Before becoming non-attached, I would have quickly become anxious about my ability to take advantage of these opportunities. Instead, I became genuinely excited to see where my actions would take me.
Last week I was walking my dog. Completely unexpectedly, my Spirit Guides gave me an idea for a new book. I immediately realized it was a great idea. Ironically, I was talking with an agent in a few hours. My old self would have felt I was not ready to present the book idea to the agent. After all, they usually want to see a 25-page book proposal. This time I told myself I would sit with the idea and decide in the moment if I should mention it to the agent.
I took a big leap of faith and mentioned it. They LOVED it! Recognizing how timely the book would be, they expressed wanting to get the book out as soon as possible. Wow! I was amazed how quickly everything was falling into place.
Actually, I have had an extraordinary amount of “good things happening” recently. Back in the beginning of January, my twin flame’s Soul Body came when I was experiencing a sound healing and activated something in me. The next day his Soul Body showed up at my house. I am clear that since he is in a different relationship this lifetime, his soul has chosen to help me heal the world on a soul level. It is like we are working together—just not physically. I think whatever he activated at the sound healing has been opening Divine doors for me.
Shortly after my twin flame appeared, an opportunity to be interviewed by a large spiritual group opened up. They have interviewed many world-renown spiritual healers and leaders, and I feel honored to be included. I am not sure when I will be interviewed.
Both of these opportunities are amazing! Happy to be able to say I am not attached to the outcome of either one of them. Would I be disappointed if I don’t have the interview, or the new book is not picked up by a publisher? Yes, but the difference is that my disappointment would be a brief experience for me; not a stressful devastation. I fully surrendered to the Spirit world years ago. I completely trust that what is supposed to happen in my life will appear. I no longer have to control it or “make it happen”—I know what is meant for me will arrive and thrive.
On a more practical note, writing another book will take a lot of my time. When I wrote WISDOM KEEPER, I kept a 4 am - 4 pm schedule. Not sure yet what my writing schedule will be, but I am prepared that it will affect the number of healings I can do each month.
My plan is to still be able to do some healing work each month. Since I will have much less time to do healings, I expect the available slots each month to fill up quickly. Anyone who has purchased a three or six session healing package will have priority for scheduling.
When you contact me, please give me a brief explanation about why you want a healing. If you are in crisis, I will do my best to find a way to accommodate you as quickly as possible.
Sorry for any inconvenience. If it is any consolation, part of my new book will be teaching you how to stay calm and grounded, no matter what is happening.
I would love to hear about your experiences with non-attachment.
One more thing—last night, I received a clear message from my Spirit Guides that it is time to buy extra water and food. I am not talking about a lot; just enough water and food to last you a few weeks in case you lose power. I suggest getting food that does not need to be cooked. This is not about extreme preparedness, but rather about being practical and ready for potential short-term situations. When I received this message, I asked for clarity. My Spirit Guides said something could happen fairly soon that will knock out power for many people.
Peace & Blessings,
Chloe
Special thanks to Pete Linforth from Pixabay for the beautiful image.
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